Sorry For Your Neck Injury

My son and I are walking through the Acme (a local supermarket for those that live outside the greater Philadelphia area) to pick up a few things for the dinner that my wife was cooking for everyone. 

Me, being the good husband that I am, decided that taking the boy would be of benefit to my wife since he was just getting in the way of her cooking and just being a general all around pain in the rump.

So as the boy and I were strolling through the market, as is typical of any 5 year old, he was wanting any item that was on an endcap or display rack. 

“I want this” he would say.

“No, you don’t need a candy bar.  Dinner is really soon”, I would respond.

“Can I get this?”

“No.  You have plenty of cereal at home.  Put it back”

“I need this”

“Umm… no.  You don’t need tampons.  You have not gotten your period yet.”

So as we continued down the front aisle of the store, he was continuously lagging behind me as he was picking items up and asking for them.  I kept repeating to him that we were in a hurry and gave him several “Let’s go buddy!”

He yells back to me “I’m coming dickhead!”

The store manager, who was stocking coffee on and endcap spun his head around so fast that I am sure that he called out of work the next morning because of whiplash. 

Of course, since I am well known for laughing at inappropriate things, it was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing at his outburst. 

I told my wife about the incident and she has since removed all movies, cable and video games from his room.  She thinks that is where he got it from since we don’t talk like that. 

I see many visits to the principals office in my future because of this boy.

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