Glad To Be Home
I am finally home from my tour of NYC and Long Island. It had been an interesting week for me with work. I had been stationed out in the Hampton’s. During the day I was working hard and in the evening I was able to explore and enjoy all that the Hampton’s has to offer. Unfortunately, this time of year, that is not much. It seems that everything all closes at 7PM. That is what happens when you go to a resort during the off season.
What I have seen does not really impress me. It has not been a Weekend At Bernie’s. Traffic is all jammed up and only moves at a maximum of 30 MPH. I assume that is only in the middle of the night because during the day there are cars all over the road by none of them are moving faster.
What really surprises me is that for all the money this area is supposed to have, there is no cell phone signal that my cell phone can connect to. Verizon needs to come to the Hampton’s because no one “can hear me now”!
Where I have been staying is a little Bed and Breakfast and I will be the first to admit that while they are quaint, I feel very uncomfortable. There is something about staying in someone’s house that just does not allow me to relax and unwind. I never make my bed at home and yet I find myself obligated to make it at the B&B. Where normally I might watch HBO late on a Thursday night, I am embarrassed to even put the TV on at all.
Then there is the community shower in the B&B. I find it odd having to share the shower with other guests. In my hotel, I like to strip and walk to the shower in my room. In that bathroom I can lay out my toothpaste, hairbrush, shaving needs, etc… But in the B&B I am carrying all of my items to the bathroom along with my towels and clothes to change into.
Maybe it is just me and my oddities.
I do know that after being away for the past three weeks I was ready to get home. I had not seen the kids and I had not seen the wife. I am missing cheese steaks and Philly sports. Flyers are in the playoffs, The Phillies are leading the East and the Soul is playing their best season and yet with all that good fortune going on, I am missing it all.
Finally, May is National Masturbation Month and I am stuck in a B&B where I am embarrassed to take a shit because someone else might smell it let alone to rub one out and have someone hear it. That being said, have a very Happy May!
Idle Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Man 
LOL. I didn’t know that about May. Does Redd know this? I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned it.
I totally hate the idea of sharing a bathroom no matter where I’m staying.
Three weeks is a long time to go without seeing your family. I hope you are having a wonderful time getting reacquainted with your family and your wife (even if it is National Masturbation Month). 😉
Bummer when you can’t spank the monkey when you need to dude, especially during National Masturbation Month! I’d be still choking the chicken in a B&B though. I’d just try to keep the volume down on the “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” part if you know what I mean and I think you do.
My biggest problem in not being able to wax Mr. Weasel was when I was in the Army (about 50 freaking years ago!). I mean sleeping in barracks and not even any toilet stalls in the latrine? It’s a good thing they were putting all that salt peter in the food (or is that just a myth?). I mean here I was a horny 18 year old, used to stroking the salami at least once a day and now I had to pretend I was a Catholic Priest sharing a room with the Pope. Bummer dude!
Oh well after I got out of the Army I was able to resume my favorite “hobby” on a daily basis. Fifty years later I’m still doing it…and I’m not blind or crazy (yet) either!
Uhhh…what was the question again?
I’ve never enjoyed spending time in the Hamptoms.
So May is masturbation month? Learn something new everyday!
sorry. Meant to type Hamptons. Mind got sidetracked with the mention of masturbations.