How Hard To Get Back Into The Swing Of Things

After a two week vacation from work it is now time for me to get back into the swing of things, to get back into my regular routine.

Waking up again at 6:30 for work instead of sleeping in until 8 – 8:30, packing lunches instead of reading the news and casually drinking my tea, slowly starting my day instead of rushing to get all I need to get done into the day, I mean yikes! 

It is amazing how quickly one can all out of a regular routine and yet it will take longer to get back into the regular routine again. 

But what did I really do during the holidays?  Well, besides Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, visiting families and friends, New Years Eve and New Years Day there was my kids school holiday events, my daughter’s birthday, Eagles games, putting together the kids toys they got from Christmas, and taking down the Christmas decorations. 

What did I really want to do while off?  Catch up on my Video Game playing!  I did not get time to do much of that.

It’s a new year but the same old life.  Only the date has changed.  Time to climb back onto that horse and ride into the routine that is my life.

Happy New Year Everyone.  I hope you all a merry and prosperous year.

How many different colors of white are there?

You are all familiar (and when I say all I mean the 3 regular readers I have now) with the Donnaisms I post from time to time and if you are not, check out the tab at the top of the page and read through a few.  I feel that I am now going to have to begin a whole new page just for the silly things my mother-in-law says to me. 

Maybe I’ll call it MILisms. 

Below is her latest MILism.

I was out with my wife doing some Christmas shopping in the mall and she called me and asked me if I was at Sears.  In the mall I was in there was a Sears but I was on the opposite end of the mall and I told her that I could stop there for her if she needed me to. 

She politely told me that it was not necessary for me to run all the way down there and thanked me anyway.  She then told me that she was worried that I might pick up the wrong color. 

I asked her what color she needed.  She told me white.

I burst out laughing hard in the middle of Boscov’s. 

I can’t make this stuff up.

Not Quite A Donnaism

The apple does not fall far from the tree. 

I have posted about Donnaisms and even created a whole page for them which you can find at the top of this blog.  But the one I am about to post is from my mother-in-law, the mother of my sister-in-law and my wife.

We are all sitting around my MIL’s house and their family friend had installed a new pellet stove in his basement in hopes that it would heat the rest of the house.

The friend said that it is not having the impact that he had hoped and he has tried everything.  He adjusted settings and turned this knob and that knob and still nothing.

My MIL looks at him and says “Maybe it only heats down” 

As if this was not funny enough and having us roll on the floor laughing, without missing a beat, the friend coolly replies “Just my luck.  I get the only one that only heats down”

None of us had a dry eye from laughing.  My sides hurt.  And as I write this I am still holding back laughter as I try to keep from disturbing my coworkers.

Things I Can Do Without Seeing

There are just some things a person should never have to see in their life.  And I am not talking about the really bad things like watching your house burn down, or you dad die in front of you or walking in on your parents having sex type of bad. 

What I am talking about is a little less bad.

I was walking through the mall this weekend trying to get some Christmas shopping done and I was walking past Victoria’s Secret and me being the guy that I am, I took a look into the store at the hot and sexy stuff in there being sold and what does my wandering eye spy????  My aunt.

My aunt was in there.  And she was not just walking and casually browsing either.  She was holding up a pair of panties like she was inspecting them for purchase.   Some sort of high cut blue things with some sort of design on them.

EEEwwwwww!!!!!

I hightailed it past there as quick as I could and wanted to find a sharp object to gouge out my eyeballs.  I wanted to hit my head so hard that I would suffer amnesia.  I wanted the image of my 50 something year old aunt looking at Victoria Secrets panties out of my head.

There are things I don’t need to see.  There are things I don’t want to know about people in my family.  Things I just don’t want in my head.  GET IT OUT!!!!

As I am walking  through another section of the mall she saw me and came up to me.  I could see in her hands was the Victoria Secret bag.  The whole time she was talking to me all I could think about was her panties.  I didn’t want to.  But I was. 

With time, I should be able to get past this trauma.  I should heal.  I hope.

All I Want For Christmas Is More Bratz Dolls

I hate seeing my little girl so upset and sad.  Seeing her eyes well up with tears and then glide sadly down her cheeks just kills me.  It’s heartbreaking.

What upset her so much?

She had over heard me and my wife talking last night about a story in the news yesterday about how a federal judge ruled that her beloved toy, The Bratz Doll, is to be pulled from store shelves after Christmas and that stores would no longer be allowed to sell the doll.  See Story Here.

My daughter is the type of child that can entertain herself for hours.  Give her paper and crayons, give her paints and a canvas or give her dolls and she will entertain herself for hours. 

The only toys she plays with the most is Bratz.  Why does she prefer them over Barbies?  I have no idea.  And she was not going to answer that question for me last night in the condition she was in.

I probably should have done a better job with making sure she was in bed and asleep before I had the conversation with my wife but the cat is out of the bag and that horse has left the stable.

All this ruling does is hurt the children.  I can understand  Mattel doing what they have to do to protect the Barbie and filing the suit to begin with but can’t there be monetary compensation instead of taking away a child’s beloved toy?

This is just another sign of a greedy adult ruining another childhood for a child.

As I was putting my daughter to bed, she looked up at me with her red puffy eyes and told me that all she wants for Christmas is more Bratz dolls.  She doesn’t want them to go away.

Merry #%$&ing Christmas

When You Gotta Go

The Scene – Friendly’s restaurant (I know, not great food but we needed something quick and cheap) with the family.  We are seated in our booth.  The booth behind me was empty, the booth to my left has an older couple, the booth behind my wife had a family of 4 seated. 

We’ve just begun to sit down and eat our meals.  When suddenly, out of the blue, my boy stands up in the booth, grabs his crotch and loudly proclaims, “I gotta go before i piss myself!”

The older couple to my left, well, the old lady nearly chokes on her coffee.  The family of 4, the parents, I could see were shocked but the 2 boys were giggling.

My wife was turning red and feeling embarrassed.  My daughter was giggling.

Me?  I grab the boy and take him to the bathroom before he pisses himself.

The kid kills me.

Time – It’s all relative

It confuses the Hell out of me.  Today they are used interchangeably and all basically mean the same thing but technically,  all are different.

When am I supposed to use them?  How am I supposed to use them?  They mean all the same thing.  It makes no sense.

Do you have a minute?  Sure I have a second, What’s up?  This will only take a moment if you have a second.  I’ll be there in a minute.  Can you hold on a second?  Sure I can hold a moment.  Dinner will be ready in a second.  Dinner will be ready in a minute.  Did you take a moment and read that email.  I’ll read it in a second.  I need to stop for gas.  It’ll only take a minute.  Can you hold on a minute?  Hold on, let me rest for a moment.  You already rested for a second.  C’mon it will only take a minute.

When did time all blur together?  When did it all mean the same thing?

I’m so lost.

Who’s Ready????

I am so in the Christmas mood lately.  I am excited to do some shopping, and for a guy that is just very odd, I am excited to see the decorations in the store, I am eager to hang up the lights on my house and get the decorations out of the attic and decorate the house. 

I have been listening to the all Christmas music station, I have begun my shopping and I have just been really, really amped for Christmas.

But why? 

I think that part of it is that it is colder than in the past years.  Right now in the Philly area it is in the 30’s for a high.  That is uncommon this time of year.  Normal highs are in the low 50’s. 

I think that because we got some snow already, yes, I said snow, I am more excited for the holidays.  The past Thursday we had a coating of snow.  It looked really pretty and made me feel like it was seasonal. 

I think that part of it is because my boy is at the age where he can get some cool toys.  He is asking for LEGOS and Iron Man toys and all the stuff that I used to play with growing up.  It has been fun for me.

I think that the stores and the Christmas music, the boy, the cold and the snow are really setting the mood early for me this year. 

Who else is ready?????

Hats Off!

I remember, while I was growing up, getting a lot of life’s lessons from my parents and grandparents.  They made it known that it was the small but important stuff that matters greatly in the world.  And now I am in a stage where I am trying to instill the same things into my kids and I am beginning to wonder if they even matter or relevant any more.

It was always drilled into me that I should hold the door open for people.  Whether I am coming or going, hold the door for the person behind you or in front of you.  With the automatic doors that are in place at most public places today does this even matter?  Or is it because of these doors is this why so many people have forgotten this small but important rule of manners?

In the waiting rooms, or on buses, or just waiting in general and a sick, elderly or pregnant person comes in I was always instructed to get up and offer my seat to them.  Today, it seems like we live in a first come first serve world.  Rare is it that I see anyone offer their seat.  Often times I see families sitting in seats and someone that clearly needs to sit enters and no one gets up, the parents don’t instruct the kids to get up, nothing.

Hats!  When did hats become acceptable to wear indoors?  I was always told that hats came off when you enter a building.  Now I see them being worn all the time.  In malls, in movie theaters, in restaurants.  In Restaurants!  At The Table!!!!!  My dad or grandfather would knock my hat off my body, with my head still in it, if I sat at the table to eat with my hat on.  They would knock my head and hat off my body and throw it across the room and into the trash can!  They would never let me near the table to begin with.

Now it seems that all these simple forms of ediqutte are no longer practiced.  It makes it hard as a parent to raise kids to mind these rules when no one else practices.  But, damnit, I am going to anyway.  I am going to make sure that these manners don’t die or disappear.  Because it is the little things that affect us all.

People are Stranger When You’re a Stranger

I have been doing a lot of traveling into New York City for work again lately.  I have been taking the train because my work does not want to spend the money on hotel stays.  I am not complaining.  I am glad to have a job.  But it has given me time to spend in train terminals and people watch.

You can people watch in bus terminals, airports, or anywhere else there is a gathering of people.  But with traveling people I have noticed that nearly everyone falls into one of the classes of people I will list below. 

• The Napper – The napper will close their eyes and fall asleep while they are waiting.  Sometimes I envy the Napper because they can fall asleep in all the noise, hustle and bustle that is around them.  And if you are really lucky, you can have a napper that is a loud snorer. 
• The Pacer – These folks will just keep moving and can not sit still.  They will just pace in a circle or around the terminal.  Sure, they will stop and read advertisements hanging on the wall or read the arrivals and departures but they don’t stay rooted for long.  They just have to keep moving.
• Social Butterfly – They travel alone usually and have a strong need to talk to anyone that will give them the time and listen.  They will scan a room and hone in on one or two people and strike up a conversation about anything.  “Crazy weather we’re having” “How about those (insert favorite sports team here)”.
• Loud Phone Talkers – This type likes to sound important because they are on the phone.  They will talk loudly so that we can all hear their end of the conversation because they have a need to feel special.  Basically, they are telling everyone “Look at me!!! I’m on the phone!”  Big fracking whoop-de-doo!
• The Bible Reader – I guess that they are looking for  “The Lord will not kill you riding the train/plane or bus if you read me” passage.  There is always a Bible reader around.  This makes me feel safe. 
• The Always Working Worker – This person is always on his laptop, always reading and sending email, scanning spreadsheets, and working nonstop.  They just work and work and work.  All work and no play.
• The Paper Reader – All they do is read the paper.  Cover to cover.  Page by Page.  Completely reading every column, every article and every word.  Hell, if they are waiting long enough they will read each and every classified.  These people are devoted to the paper.
• The Disgusted  – Disgusted at everything.  Disgusted at waiting, disgusted because they can’t find a spot to sit, disgusted at the loud phone talker and the napper that is snoring loudly, just disgusted.  Nothing could make them happy.
• Lost Soul – They are just lost.  No clue what to do or where to go.  They just walk in a circle looking lost.  They are not to be confused with the Pacer.

So there you have it.  The different types of people you will find in a busy terminal waiting for their ride to show up.  Which one are you?