How Was Your Memorial Day Weekend?

This Memorial Day weekend was picture perfect!  The temperature was in the 70’s, not a cloud in the sky, the smell of grills in the air, all the things that one would expect from the unofficial start to spring!

Or so I’ve been told.

I spent two of the three days in the hospital.  One day in the Emergency Room and one day in a room after spending the night under observation.  But it wasn’t for me, it was for my daughter.

Saturday night she went to her room very early because she was extremely tired.  She spent most of the day playing hard in the yard with her friends so it was not unusual for her to be tired but when my wife checked in on her about 6PM my wife noticed that she was running a low fever.  After my wife left for the night, my daughter came down to the family room asking for medicine because she was really not feeling well.  After a dose of Tylenol I did not hear from her for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Sunday, she woke but didn’t move off the bed.  My wife took her temperature and she was not running a fever but my daughter was complaining of bad pains on the lower left side of the stomach.  She could not stand and she was doubled over in pain.  My wife immediately thought appendicitis.

Off to the Emergency Room we go to the local Children’s Hospital.  While there the took X-ray’s, poked her stomach, called in surgeons, poked some more, took some blood, poked some more and took a urine sample.  Oh, and they poked some more. 

All during this time, she seemed to slowly feel better in that the more they pressed and poked her stomach, the less she complained about the pain.  The X-rays came back inconclusive and we were instructed by the doctors that they didn’t think that she had appendicitis but they were not 100% sure and wanted to keep her overnight for observation. 

Thankfully, she is very much like me.  She has a high pain tolorance and takes life in stride.  She was fine with staying and my wife decided that she would stay with her.  That was fine with me because at that point I could go home and watch the last 90 laps of the Coca Cola 600. 

The next morning, Monday, I drove over to the hospital and after they ran a few more tests they, the doctors decided and determined that her problem was nothing more than she had a turd stuck.  Poop!  Doodie!  Basically they told me and my wife that my daughter was full of shit!

I missed 2 days because my daughter is constipated!  I missed BBQ’s, drinking beer late into the night, hanging with friends and neighbors all because my little girl needed to poo!

So hopefully, you my faithful 8 readers had a better weekend than I.  Because, thanks to my daughter, who I now call my little shit, I missed out on the great weather!

Finally, To Those That Have Served, To Those That Gave Their Lives, So That We May Live          Thank You!

We’re All Going To Be Disappointed

I have a saying that I use with my kids any time they bug for something.  They know that once I say this, that the conversation is over because it is so impossible to accomplish.

When the kids and I are in a store and there is something that they want, they will either get a yes or a no.  Simple enough, right?  But kids are not content with just a no.  They will beg, whine, cry, deal, beg some more, whine some more, cry some more…… 

“But I really want that Barbie!”

But I really want that Iron Man guy!”

“But I really want that gum!”

But I really want that cereal!”

This is when I usually come in with my signature tag line, after the “But I really wants”.  I tell them, “And I really want a rhinoceros!  Looks like we are all going to be disappointed today!”

This has worked well for me for over 8 years.  Once I pull the Rhino card, they know it is all over and the conversation comes to a quick halt. 

This weekend my family and I were in the mall and we were looking for a few last minute birthday presents for the 3 parties that we had to go to this weekend and my wife and daughter went in one direction and the boy and I in another.  We were trying to get the most accomplished in the least amount of time. 

After about 15 minutes, the family all met up and we were walking though the mall starting to head to the car when my daughter started up with wanting this and wanting that.  Of course, she went right to the whine and the “But I really want!”  She wanted a slice of pizza but I knew that we were going to a party very shortly and I didn’t feel like buying her a slice when they were to eat at the party.  So I gave her my “And I really want a rhinoceros”

She giggled at me and reached into her shopping bag and pulled out a plush Rhino.  It is one of those Webkinz toys that the kids collect.  She thought it was so funny that she got one over on me.  Of course I had to buy her a pizza. 

A few times this weekend I found myself almost saying that I want a Rhino and my daughter laughs because she knows that I can’t use that phrase anymore.  So I guess I am going to have to come up with something a little more clever.

These kids are getting too smart for me!

How do you see it?

I have, I think, a very unique viewpoint on life. 

I am not a glass half full type of guy, or a glass half empty.  I look at that cup and wonder who the *&#@ left it there and why didn’t they throw it away!

My mind has often led to trouble arguments fights between my wife and I.  She has a hard time grasping how my mind works.  The same went for how I got along with my parents.  I just have downright different takes on things.  This works great for me though when I am problem solving or trying to be creative for work.  Day to day life though, it is entertaining.  To me anyway.

I am finding that this trait is making it’s way into the personality of my 8 year old daughter.  Just this morning, as she was being let off to school, I noticed that she didn’t have her bookbag.  I yelled at her to come back and get it out of the car and she very noncholantely told me she forgot it.  She then added that at least she won’t forget to bring it home this weekend.  (she has left her bag at school over the weekend in the past a few times)

One day, there was a neighborhood cat (she is a huge cat lover), that was hit by a car and still laying dead in the street, and she paused for a moment and then said that at least the big black birds will have some breakfast.

When my wife’s grandmother died a few weeks back, my daughters reaction was - I guess we won’t be haveing anymore chicken & dumplings.  (G-mum made the best!)

I can’t help it.  Her comments make me laugh because they are funny and they sound so much like things I say.  My wife thinks that she is rude, insensitive, uncaring and unconcerned about things but I know better.  I know that is just how her mind works.  It works like mine.