Idle Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Man

Where has everyone gone?  It is like all of a sudden everyone stopped coming to this stupid little blog and posting comments and reading what I have to say.

 Is no one interested in me anymore?  Have I bored you?  Did I offend you in anyway?  What happened?

Truth be told, it’s not you, it’s me. 

I know, you’ve heard that line many times before but it’s the truth. 

I know, you’ve heard that line before too. 

But seriously, in this case, it is I that have been gone not you my 5 faithful readers.  But the fact that no one has posted a comment or inquired as to where I have been lets me know that I have been forgotten about.

How sad.

Anywho, in case there is one person interested, I have been traveling with work and have been stuck smack dab between the Hamptons and NYC.  It has been keeping me busy and when I am done with my classes I just crash in the hotel room and sleep.  Later this week I plan on taking the subway into NYC to have some fun. 

So there you have it, I am alive, and still posting and I will try to become more active again because I know that there are so many of you that enjoy my drabble. 

This weekend the family and I went down to Chincoteague Virginia and searched out possible places to rent during the week of Pony Penning.

For those of you that don’t know what Pony Penning is, it is when the Chincoteague Volunteer Fire Department round up the wild ponies on Assateague Island, which is right across the water, and swim them across to Chincoteague where they will auction them off. This is for thinning the herd and for the fire department to raise money.

I have been going to Chincoteague for about 30 years now and I really have not been back for Pony Penning in nearly 10 years. I have been avoiding all the tourists. But now that my own family is coming of age, I want them to experience the event.  It really is something that everyone should experience at least once.

I have to say that I am looking forward to it. Like I said, I have not been there during a swim in years and I want to pass this down to my kids. My parents took us down there almost every year. My aunt and uncle have a place down there and we would all crash there. Then as more and more of us went, their house filled up and we had to find other places to rent.

The island is filled with history and character and there are little quaint shops and there is always something to do.  It is nice going down when there are no events happening on the island.  I know that their main source of income is tourism but there is something spectacular about going down when it is the off season.

One day, I am going to buy a house down there.

I love it. It is my second home.

I can’t wait for July.

I wrote up the below post while on my flight home on Friday.  I got caught up over the weekend with family stuff and never posted it.  I almost was not going to and then I decided I would but edit out the language.  Then I thought that you readers deserved a little insight to the mind of the Mad Man and see how I really felt about what was happening.  So below is the unedited version of my flight back from the West Coast. ……………………..

 Normally I don’t go off on these wild, rage filled rants but God Damn it I am pissed.  Let me go back a few moments to earlier this morning as I was getting ready to fly back home.  Everything was going well this morning, the weather was looking nice from my departure site and my arrival site and I was even the first in line dropping off my rental car.  Life was good up until that point.  Then it all spiraled downhill from there. 

I come to find out that the TSA flagged me for extra security screening.  That is not really a big deal.  I understand why, and I support the need to keep flying as safe as possible.  I am happy to do my part and be patient.   

Here though is where it really begins.  This flight that I was on was packed full.  Not a seat to be spared.  As a passenger, I do my part, making sure that I follow directions and I have my one carry on luggage and a briefcase, laptop bag or purse as my additional item.  I DID NOT HAVE A PURSE, BY THE WAY.  I had my carry on and my laptop bag.   

There are some lofty pricks out there that believe that the rules do not apply to them.  They bring on their carry on luggage, briefcase, garment bag, laptop bag, shopping bag of snacks and their Starbucks, that’s right, your trip is not complete without your fucking Starbucks.   

And no one employed with the airlines will say anything to these assholes with all the extra luggage.  I don’t care if you are first class or economy class, the rules are the fucking rules.  Follow them.  But does it stop there?  Oh no the hell it doesn’t.  When they go to board with all their shit they have their hands so full with their luggage, laptop bag, briefcase and Starbucks that they are unable to give the ticket clerk their ticket so asshole has to hold up the line while he makes the attendant go through his jacket pocket and dig out the God Damn Ticket.   

HELLO!  TICKET LADY!  Here is your fucking opportunity to tell this prick that he has too much shit.   

Of course you all know me all to well (all 4 of my regular readers) and know that I am not one to let stupid shit like this pass by, I speak up and loudly say, “There is always one on every flight that has to hold up the line”  He shoots me an angry look but so what.  What can he do?  His hands are full. 

We board the plane and once inside we all have to wait while all the passangers that brought more than 2 items stow and secure all of their shit and they don’t even use the space under the seat in front of them.  No, the arrogant pricks have to put all of their stuff into the overhead and completely fill up the bin.  The whole line again has to wait for these pricks and expect the rest of us to wait because they can’t follow the rules and guidelines.   

I know what is going to happen once the plane lands and we are ready to disembark from the plane.  These guys are going to hold everyone up again as they gather all their items out of the overhead bins.  Assholes.  Learn to travel  within the rules.   

People piss me off.  The airlines piss me off.  The rules are made simple.  People need to follow them and the airlines need to enforce them.   

And if you are one of these arrogant, asshole pricks that just has to bring everything, including the kitchen sink as carry on, I hope you learned something from this rant.   

Thanks USAir and thanks for another wonderful flight experience. 

And thanks to the assholes that provided me the material for this posting.

I read about this place in Seattle called the Gum Wall.  I don’t remember where it was that I read about it but I know that there was supposed to be wall where people just placed their chewed gum.

On my last trip out to Seattle I could not find it.  I looked around for it but not really knowing the area I was not sure where to look..  I also did not ask anyone for directions because I didn’t want to be embarrassed.  So I ended up leaving Seattle without ever seeing the Gum Wall.

Which leads me to tonight.  I was walking around Pikes Place Market when I took a wrong turn and stumbled out into an alley and what was right before me?  The Gum Wall!!!!  The wall I had read about.

Here I was before the wall and I did not have my camera and my cell phone was out of charge so I could not even take a picture.  I did happen to have in my mouth gum which I left behind on the wall. 

Now in Seattle there is a small piece of me left behind in that chewing gum that I stuck on the wall.  I contributed to a part of modern art.  Odd as it sounds, there is something fulfilling about that. 

Have you ever caught a scent that triggered memories? 

I just had one.  Let me take a moment and back up and set up the scene. 

I am on the road again, traveling for work.  I am out on the West Coast and staying at a very popular brand name hotel.  As part of my routine when I first enter my room I take all the complimentary bath supplies that I use and put them in the shower.  So this morning I enter the shower and I open the hotel supplied shampoo and conditioner and wash my hair with them.  I then moved to the soap.  When I opened up the soap I catch a smell that flashed me back to elementary school. 

The soap smelled like paste.  Elmer’s white paste.  The kind we used to use on art projects.  The kind we used to eat.  The kind we used to try to permanently glue our fingers together.  I have not smelled a jar of Elmer’s Paste in decades.  Art projects I made in grade school all flooded back.  Past elementary school teachers flashed back in my mind.  A huge chunk of my childhood recalled in a quick instant.

But then I was turned off to the smell, who wouldn’t?  There I am, in the shower, in all of my naked glory (good luck getting that image out of your heads today) with no choice but to use this paste smelling soap.  I am now hoping that my clothes do not stick to my body because I used this paste soap. 

I think I will see if there is a CVS around here to buy one of those sample/travel bars of soap.  There are worse things to smell like but I don’t need to have a trail of grade school kids following me like I’m the Pied Piper of Paste trying to get their fix from the past man.

It is interesting how past memories can be triggered just by a scent.

Thanksgiving is traditionally the busiest travel holiday in the nation.  Everyone heads home for Thanksgiving. 

For my family and I we used to just go one town over to my grandparents.  Even though they less than 5 miles away we would have to drive over a small creek, along the woods to get there.  We used to sing the “Over the river and Through the woods to Grandmothers house we go” song because when you are 6 a creek seems like a river.

Now that I am older and with a family it is not as magical as when I was a kid.  We now go to my in-laws and instead of just playing as a child, as an adult I help get dinner ready, help clean up after eating and then get back home to get kids showered and ready for bed.   It is not the fun lazy holiday that I remember.

We never traveled great distances for the holidays as a family, now or when I was growing up.  All my family was local.  I’m not complaining.  I like that they are close.  To be able to have a short drive to get home and crash is nice.  I think I would dread a long car ride home after filling myself past capacity.   

My favorite part of Thanksgiving is the day or 4 after.  When I get to eat turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, and anything else that can be made from turkey left overs.  It is the left overs that I really enjoy.

I am a single father now.  I have been getting the kids ready for school and daycare and picking them up after I am done work.  I was able to get some housework done and entertain the kids at the same time.  They have been bathed and fed all without any issues.  What is so hard about this?

My wife left me for a long weekend in Florida.  She is deserving.  I leave her alone for nearly one third of the year alone with the kids while I travel for work.  When I call at night and check in with her she is quick to vent about how difficult the kids are or how she is cleaning up a mess that they made.  By the end of the week she is so stressed out and venting on the phone that I almost don’t feel like coming home.  I would rather be in Utah, Boston or NYC then come home to everything she complained about.

These past few days have been easy.  The kids have been well behaved and cleaned up after theirselves.  They are getting along with each other and helping me run errands.  They have been better behaved these past few days than they usually act.  So what is the difference?  Why don’t they act this way with their mom?  Or maybe my wife is exaggerating how bad it is being alone with them.  I am not sure.

I talked to my wife today and told her about how great they have been and she almost sounded disappointed that they were not bad for me like they are for her.   I told her how enjoyable the kids have been, how well behaved they have been, how easy to handle they have been and then I once again spoke without thinking and said, “This is a piece of cake.  I don’t know why you get all stressed while I am away.  This is easy.  What is so hard?”  To which she answered, “You!  For another week!”

Is there no airplane etiquette anymore?  I know you are in cramped quarters and personal space is at a premium but when someone has their legs stretched out so far under your seat that they are actually touching my feet, that is where I draw the line.  And so began my 6 hour battle last night on my flight home from Seattle.

I was sitting in the middle seat, which it uncomfortable and tight to begin with.  There is nowhere to spread out nor can you lean too far to the left or to the right.  Most of the time you need to sit straight in the middle.  So here I am, sitting uncomfortably in the middle seat minding my own business when this guy behind me slides his feet under my seat and starts to touch my legs.  This made me slightly uncomfortable so I moved my legs slightly hoping that he would get the subtle hint that my legs were there and he would back off.  That did not work.  There was a time or six when his feet would come all the way under my seat to where I could see his shoes next to mine.  For the next few hours it was a war of his leg touches and my subtle hints. 

At one point, I pulled my legs back so hard and fast into his feet, hoping that he would get the message that he was invading my space but alas, he did not.  I finally had enough and I turned around in my seat and loudly said to him “Listen Larry Craig, I tried to be subtle about this footsie game you insist on playing with me.  I don’t swing that way.  Maybe you can try a bathroom stall when we land.”   With that, I spun back around and returned to my seat.

I could hear him behind me calling me an asshole and he had no idea and that what I had done was uncalled for and I could care less.  I made my point and he had stopped - for about an hour.  Then it started up all over again.  There was about an hour left of the flight and I really did not want to have another verbal exchange with this guy who was now just being spiteful. 

I reached down under the seat in front of me and pulled out my metallic silver Sharpie marker from my laptop bag.  While his feet were sticking out under my seat, I drew on his sneakers little happy faces, squiggle lines, a few choice words, etc…  At this point I figured I had my revenge and resigned myself to putting up with his rudeness until we landed. 

When the plane landed and we were ready to disembark.  Not once did I look at the guy or say another word to him.  I grabbed my bags and like everyone else I made my way into the terminal.  It was not until we were out of the jetway before I heard him exclaim “What the ****!”  I guess he noticed his sneakers.   By this time I had blended into the crowd. 

 With a big smile I made my way out of there and met my family who were picking me up.  When my wife asked me how my flight went I just smiled and answered great.

It is nice to know that this problem is not confined to just my area of the country.  Driving into work this morning I drove behind a woman that was performing a full make over in her car during the morning commute.  What impressed me most was her ability to drive without the use of her hands since they were both occupied with the daunting task of teasing (I thought teased hair went out of style long ago) and brushing her long mane.  This feat was performed while going about 65 MPH too.  Her skill and mastery of driving without hands while performing a make over would make any professional driver envious.  Not once did she swerve or veer out of her lane.  I was tempted, since I was driving a rental car, to pull my vehicle up along side her closely to see what would happen if I was to nearly sideswipe her.  Would she be able to react quickly enough?  I would bet she would no longer need to tease that hair anymore.

That being said, what I have found interesting is that drivers here are more courteous on the road then drivers back east tend to be.  For example, when you are trying to get over a lane and use your signal other drivers will easily let you in.  Back east, someone would have sped up just to make sure you will never be able to get over.  I have been trying hard to be a courteous drive here.  Years of conditioning make it tough to overcome sometimes. Traffic around here is way worse then New York, New Jersey, Philly traffic.  I can’t believe that anyone gets anywhere on time around here.  Folks here are telling me it can regularly take 2 hours to make a 25 mile commute in and around the city.  That is nuts!  I have more of appreciation of my commute now.   Give me Philly traffic any day!     

I spent another day wandering around Seattle.  This morning I took in the Pike Place Market.  It truly is a unique place.  I have been to many Markets but none compared to this place.  I spent the better part of the morning taking it all in.  The variety of merchants is overwhelming.  Also mixed throughout is the musicians.  They are scattered throughout the market playing piano, guitar, violin, and clarinet to name a few.  Of course the experience is not complete until you witness the fish throwing.  While you are so focused on the guys tossing yard long fish they somehow slyly slip and overthrow into the unsuspecting crowd causing people to scream and/or leap out of the way of what turns out to be just a stuffed hammerhead shark.  I do have to admit that I was on the receiving end of this fish throw prank.  It did surprise me and no I did not scream.  I did catch it and as it was coming at me the thought that cats would be following me all the rest of the day did enter my mind. 

After the Market I traveled across town to Pioneer Square to take the Underground Tour.  This was a very interesting tour of the city below the city.  Long story short, they built the city, had a fire and rebuilt the city over the ruins.    Underground you can find the original entryways into the city buildings.  It was very educational and entertaining.  The tour guides give the history of Seattle and how it grew into the city it is today. 

Some of the other things I have taken in today is the Umbrella Statue and the first Starbucks.  Unfortunately, I will not have much time the rest of the week to play since I have to work so I am fortunate that I had the opportunity today to cram in as much as I can.  

I am tired and I am worn out but I am much better for taking in as much of this beautiful city as I can.