Idle Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Man

I travel for work across the country.  I have enjoyed the hospitality of many great towns and cities.  I’ve been to Seattle, Chicago, Boston, NYC, Portland Maine, West Palm Beach Fla, Richmond Va and Salt Lake City just to name a few.

I have stayed in many hotels and ate at many restaurants.  While I always try to enjoy the local cuisine and if I can stay in the unique hotels, there are times where I do visit or have to visit the national chains.

What I have found, in my opinion, is that of all the hotels out there, consistently, Hilton and Holiday Inn’s tend to be the best.  I have had the best sleep, accommodations, food and experiences in these two chains.  I’ve stayed in Marriotts, Raddisons and others, and I have stayed in some very good ones, but they are not consistent across the country. 

As far as restaurants, of the national chains, Applebees and Chili’s have been the best.  Again, they have been consistent and their selections are broad.  I find that their food is tasty and flavorful.

Some of the other national chains lately have been messing with their menus, like TGIFriday’s and Ruby Tuesday’s.  They have cut down on their choices and reduced their menu.  I have been very disappointed with them lately.  I can understand why they have cut back on their menu, what with the food prices increasing and all.

That being said, I recently went to breakfast at a diner just outside of Brooklyn NY and ordered a Spanish Omelet.  What I like about a Spanish Omelet is that it is made, at least in all the other breakfast establishments I have dined in, with a  mix of cheese, peppers, onions and salsa and then I love to pour Tabasco Sauce all over the top of the omelet.  So good.

So back to this diner outside of Brooklyn.  I placed my order of a Spanish Omelete and opened my newspaper and read for a short while, waiting patiently for my breakfast to arrive.   

After a short while, my waitress returns with my plate and lays it before me.  I look at my plate and notice that there is an egg.  On top of that egg is grilled peppers, grilled onions and ……………………. wait for it………………  grilled celery.

My waitress turns to leave and I stop her.

Me:  Um…… excuse me.  I ordered a Spanish Omelet.

Her:  That’s it hon.

Me:  It is?

Her:  Yeah.

Me: (looking at it for a moment before turning to the waitress and saying)  From what part of Spain?

I am finally home from my tour of NYC and Long Island.  It had been an interesting week for me with work.  I had been stationed out in the Hampton’s.  During the day I was working hard and in the evening I was able to explore and enjoy all that the Hampton’s has to offer.  Unfortunately, this time of year, that is not much.  It seems that everything all closes at 7PM.  That is what happens when you go to a resort during the off season.

What I have seen does not really impress me.  It has not been a Weekend At Bernie’s.  Traffic is all jammed up and only moves at a maximum of 30 MPH.  I assume that is only in the middle of the night because during the day there are cars all over the road by none of them are moving faster.

What really surprises me is that for all the money this area is supposed to have, there is no cell phone signal that my cell phone can connect to.  Verizon needs to come to the Hampton’s because no one “can hear me now”!

Where I have been staying is a little Bed and Breakfast and I will be the first to admit that while they are quaint, I feel very uncomfortable.  There is something about staying in someone’s house that just does not allow me to relax and unwind.  I never make my bed at home and yet I find myself obligated to make it at the B&B.  Where normally I might watch HBO late on a Thursday night, I am embarrassed to even put the TV on at all.

Then there is the community shower in the B&B.  I find it odd having to share the shower with other guests.  In my hotel, I like to strip and walk to the shower in my room.  In that bathroom I can lay out my toothpaste, hairbrush, shaving needs, etc…  But in the B&B I am carrying all of my items to the bathroom along with my towels and clothes to change into. 

Maybe it is just me and my oddities. 

I do know that after being away for the past three weeks I was ready to get home.  I had not seen the kids and I had not seen the wife.  I am missing cheese steaks and Philly sports.  Flyers are in the playoffs, The Phillies are leading the East and the Soul is playing their best season and yet with all that good fortune going on, I am missing it all. 

Finally, May is National Masturbation Month and I am stuck in a B&B where I am embarrassed to take a shit because someone else might smell it let alone to rub one out and have someone hear it.  That being said, have a very Happy May!

Find a Penny, pick it up, and all day long, you’ll have good luck!

That’s me.  If there is money lying on the ground I am picking it up but not because I am expecting any additional good luck nor do I care if it is on heads or tails.  I’ll pick it up.  I am not superstitious. 

I have always been that way.  It is not like I am poor and need the money but I will pick it up and place it in my pocket and at the end of the day I have a coin jug that I will put my change in. 

The coin jug is kept in my bedroom but is shared by myself and the kids.  What we do is fill the jug with change or dollars to be converted and used for our big summer vacation. 

Right before vacation we will take the coins to the bank and convert them to dollars to be used how ever we want.  Maybe it is a fancy dinner, maybe it is a special souvenir, maybe for a night at the boardwalk to ride the rides and play some games. 

This year my son has been really keeping his eyes to the ground and he has been finding a lot of change.  When I asked him what he was planning on using his vacation money for he stated that he wanted a Tshirt.  Just hearing that he has plans makes me happy.  He is learning that he needs to save to get something he wants. 

As soon as our vacation is over, the kids and I will start the coin jug up even before we have decided what the next vacation destination will be.  We’ll keep our eyes to the ground picking up the money we find. 

The way I see it, the folks that dropped the money is just helping to pay for our vacation.

Thanks folks, and keep dropping that change!

I have a new hobby.  It is something that I do when I travel that always amuses me.  To many, it will seem odd and dumb but I laugh everytime I do it. 

When I stay in hotels, I will set the alarm clock at 3 AM on the morning I check out so that the very next morning the alarm will go off, hopefully on an unsuspecting newcomer to the room.   

I laugh every time I do this.  I know, I know.  Very childish right?  But I get great enjoyment thinking about the next person that sleeps in that room and suddenly gets the sudden jolt to their deep sleep as the alarm goes off.

Or better yet, the room remains empty but there are people in the next room that has to hear it go off all night long. 

I don’t know why but it really cracks me up.

Yep, still here. 

So yesterday a few co-workers and I strolled through the city.  We started out walking through the neighborhood of Chelsea.  My co-worker J was curious about all of the blind people walking around with their canes and was inquisitive enough to ask the waitress in the diner we ate in “Are there really a lot of blind people here?”  To which I quickly countered, “This in New York, they are not really blind people, they are just creating the next new wave of style and chic.”

The waitress laughed and walked away leaving J without her answer.  When we left the diner, I had noticed that after we turned the corner, across the street was a Blind Center.  I pointed it out to J who, being very skeptical of anything I tell her (long story but she does have a good reason), asked how did I know that was the blind center.  I pointed out that it was the only building without windows so it had to be for the blind because what do they need windows for?  They can’t see anything.  I then pointed to the small sign that stated it was a blind center.

From Chelsea we walked down through the Village and Soho.  I love walking through the city on a nice day.  Everyone comes out and makes for great people watching. 

In New York, you will find people wearing the most…………………………….um…………………………….. interesting clothing.  They range from the very colorful to the barely there to the very bold.  Everyone was out and about yesterday.  I was thoroughly entertained and enjoyed the leisurely stroll.

I had a Corporate meeting out in Queens last night so a group and I made our way out there.  Since I had a car I was the driver for a lot of my fellow co-workers.  My job was to welcome some of the others and there was not a better way to greet everyone then to head to the bar and start a tab on someone else’s account.  That’s right!  I started a bar tab for 30 people on my boss’s boss tab.  We all were very social by the time dinner rolled around. 

After the meet and greet we headed to the conference room for dinner.  After working all week in NYC and having to work through the weekend, I felt the need to drink.  And drink I did.  I was not the only one that was interested in having a good time. 

After dinner and the meeting there was about a dozen of us that wandered back to the bar and what was on the TV but the Philadelphia Flyers beating the Montreal Canadians.  And how does any proud Philadelphian celebrate the Flyers  winning the series?  Yep!  Celebratory  beers.   A lot of beers. 

Our group dwindled down to about 4 by the time last call was called.  Not realizing that it was so late I tried to excuse myself so I could go to bed.  You see, I had to drive out to the Hamptons by 10 AM this morning.  That only left me to about 5 hours of sleep and 5 hours to sober up before starting work.  Needless to say, I felt like crap all day today and all I want to do is go to bed. 

So now that I have given another Rambling update, I can head to bed.

G’night all. 

I like to people watch.  Anywhere people gather, malls, markets, parks, etc… are excellent place to watch people.  But the best place in all the world to watch people - New York City.

I’ve recently been working in the Big Apple and after work I hit the streets and wander through Manhattan just observing the people.  From Times Square to Central Park to the World Trade area there are plenty of places to just watch people.

People are fascinating to watch.  When in their natural state, people will do rather interesting things. 

I was walking down Madison Ave and decided to count people that just pick their nose.  While no one was full on digging their finger up to the second knuckle picking, there was the quick pickers, the wipers, the two finger two nostril cleaner and the pretend I am doing something else other than picking my nose picker.  In 5 blocks I came across 8 pickers. 

While strolling though Central Park this afternoon I observed couples kissing in the park.  Hetero couples and Homo couples.  Young couples and Old couples.  Public displays of affection was everywhere. 

Then at Times Square you have people everywhere taking pictures or filming theirselves against a backdrop of bright neon lights.  People walking with shopping bags overflowing with purchases from the stores.  If the country is in a recession, it is not occurring in Times Square.   There were people gathered in a circle watching an armless man doing back flips and front flips.  They would clap and cheer.  I was amazed that people found this as entertaining.

Then there are the people in line waiting for the doors to open on the Broadway shows.  People dressed in their finest and people that were dressed in their not so finest.  I overheard one lady proclaim that she was attending her 5th showing of the play.  Her 5th?  Did she not understand the play the first four times? 

People are wonderful.  People are interesting.  People are amusing. 

After an evening of people watching, I feel so much better about myself. 

Where has everyone gone?  It is like all of a sudden everyone stopped coming to this stupid little blog and posting comments and reading what I have to say.

 Is no one interested in me anymore?  Have I bored you?  Did I offend you in anyway?  What happened?

Truth be told, it’s not you, it’s me. 

I know, you’ve heard that line many times before but it’s the truth. 

I know, you’ve heard that line before too. 

But seriously, in this case, it is I that have been gone not you my 5 faithful readers.  But the fact that no one has posted a comment or inquired as to where I have been lets me know that I have been forgotten about.

How sad.

Anywho, in case there is one person interested, I have been traveling with work and have been stuck smack dab between the Hamptons and NYC.  It has been keeping me busy and when I am done with my classes I just crash in the hotel room and sleep.  Later this week I plan on taking the subway into NYC to have some fun. 

So there you have it, I am alive, and still posting and I will try to become more active again because I know that there are so many of you that enjoy my drabble. 

This weekend the family and I went down to Chincoteague Virginia and searched out possible places to rent during the week of Pony Penning.

For those of you that don’t know what Pony Penning is, it is when the Chincoteague Volunteer Fire Department round up the wild ponies on Assateague Island, which is right across the water, and swim them across to Chincoteague where they will auction them off. This is for thinning the herd and for the fire department to raise money.

I have been going to Chincoteague for about 30 years now and I really have not been back for Pony Penning in nearly 10 years. I have been avoiding all the tourists. But now that my own family is coming of age, I want them to experience the event.  It really is something that everyone should experience at least once.

I have to say that I am looking forward to it. Like I said, I have not been there during a swim in years and I want to pass this down to my kids. My parents took us down there almost every year. My aunt and uncle have a place down there and we would all crash there. Then as more and more of us went, their house filled up and we had to find other places to rent.

The island is filled with history and character and there are little quaint shops and there is always something to do.  It is nice going down when there are no events happening on the island.  I know that their main source of income is tourism but there is something spectacular about going down when it is the off season.

One day, I am going to buy a house down there.

I love it. It is my second home.

I can’t wait for July.

I wrote up the below post while on my flight home on Friday.  I got caught up over the weekend with family stuff and never posted it.  I almost was not going to and then I decided I would but edit out the language.  Then I thought that you readers deserved a little insight to the mind of the Mad Man and see how I really felt about what was happening.  So below is the unedited version of my flight back from the West Coast. ……………………..

 Normally I don’t go off on these wild, rage filled rants but God Damn it I am pissed.  Let me go back a few moments to earlier this morning as I was getting ready to fly back home.  Everything was going well this morning, the weather was looking nice from my departure site and my arrival site and I was even the first in line dropping off my rental car.  Life was good up until that point.  Then it all spiraled downhill from there. 

I come to find out that the TSA flagged me for extra security screening.  That is not really a big deal.  I understand why, and I support the need to keep flying as safe as possible.  I am happy to do my part and be patient.   

Here though is where it really begins.  This flight that I was on was packed full.  Not a seat to be spared.  As a passenger, I do my part, making sure that I follow directions and I have my one carry on luggage and a briefcase, laptop bag or purse as my additional item.  I DID NOT HAVE A PURSE, BY THE WAY.  I had my carry on and my laptop bag.   

There are some lofty pricks out there that believe that the rules do not apply to them.  They bring on their carry on luggage, briefcase, garment bag, laptop bag, shopping bag of snacks and their Starbucks, that’s right, your trip is not complete without your fucking Starbucks.   

And no one employed with the airlines will say anything to these assholes with all the extra luggage.  I don’t care if you are first class or economy class, the rules are the fucking rules.  Follow them.  But does it stop there?  Oh no the hell it doesn’t.  When they go to board with all their shit they have their hands so full with their luggage, laptop bag, briefcase and Starbucks that they are unable to give the ticket clerk their ticket so asshole has to hold up the line while he makes the attendant go through his jacket pocket and dig out the God Damn Ticket.   

HELLO!  TICKET LADY!  Here is your fucking opportunity to tell this prick that he has too much shit.   

Of course you all know me all to well (all 4 of my regular readers) and know that I am not one to let stupid shit like this pass by, I speak up and loudly say, “There is always one on every flight that has to hold up the line”  He shoots me an angry look but so what.  What can he do?  His hands are full. 

We board the plane and once inside we all have to wait while all the passangers that brought more than 2 items stow and secure all of their shit and they don’t even use the space under the seat in front of them.  No, the arrogant pricks have to put all of their stuff into the overhead and completely fill up the bin.  The whole line again has to wait for these pricks and expect the rest of us to wait because they can’t follow the rules and guidelines.   

I know what is going to happen once the plane lands and we are ready to disembark from the plane.  These guys are going to hold everyone up again as they gather all their items out of the overhead bins.  Assholes.  Learn to travel  within the rules.   

People piss me off.  The airlines piss me off.  The rules are made simple.  People need to follow them and the airlines need to enforce them.   

And if you are one of these arrogant, asshole pricks that just has to bring everything, including the kitchen sink as carry on, I hope you learned something from this rant.   

Thanks USAir and thanks for another wonderful flight experience. 

And thanks to the assholes that provided me the material for this posting.

I read about this place in Seattle called the Gum Wall.  I don’t remember where it was that I read about it but I know that there was supposed to be wall where people just placed their chewed gum.

On my last trip out to Seattle I could not find it.  I looked around for it but not really knowing the area I was not sure where to look..  I also did not ask anyone for directions because I didn’t want to be embarrassed.  So I ended up leaving Seattle without ever seeing the Gum Wall.

Which leads me to tonight.  I was walking around Pikes Place Market when I took a wrong turn and stumbled out into an alley and what was right before me?  The Gum Wall!!!!  The wall I had read about.

Here I was before the wall and I did not have my camera and my cell phone was out of charge so I could not even take a picture.  I did happen to have in my mouth gum which I left behind on the wall. 

Now in Seattle there is a small piece of me left behind in that chewing gum that I stuck on the wall.  I contributed to a part of modern art.  Odd as it sounds, there is something fulfilling about that.