Idle Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Man

I am finally home from my tour of NYC and Long Island.  It had been an interesting week for me with work.  I had been stationed out in the Hampton’s.  During the day I was working hard and in the evening I was able to explore and enjoy all that the Hampton’s has to offer.  Unfortunately, this time of year, that is not much.  It seems that everything all closes at 7PM.  That is what happens when you go to a resort during the off season.

What I have seen does not really impress me.  It has not been a Weekend At Bernie’s.  Traffic is all jammed up and only moves at a maximum of 30 MPH.  I assume that is only in the middle of the night because during the day there are cars all over the road by none of them are moving faster.

What really surprises me is that for all the money this area is supposed to have, there is no cell phone signal that my cell phone can connect to.  Verizon needs to come to the Hampton’s because no one “can hear me now”!

Where I have been staying is a little Bed and Breakfast and I will be the first to admit that while they are quaint, I feel very uncomfortable.  There is something about staying in someone’s house that just does not allow me to relax and unwind.  I never make my bed at home and yet I find myself obligated to make it at the B&B.  Where normally I might watch HBO late on a Thursday night, I am embarrassed to even put the TV on at all.

Then there is the community shower in the B&B.  I find it odd having to share the shower with other guests.  In my hotel, I like to strip and walk to the shower in my room.  In that bathroom I can lay out my toothpaste, hairbrush, shaving needs, etc…  But in the B&B I am carrying all of my items to the bathroom along with my towels and clothes to change into. 

Maybe it is just me and my oddities. 

I do know that after being away for the past three weeks I was ready to get home.  I had not seen the kids and I had not seen the wife.  I am missing cheese steaks and Philly sports.  Flyers are in the playoffs, The Phillies are leading the East and the Soul is playing their best season and yet with all that good fortune going on, I am missing it all. 

Finally, May is National Masturbation Month and I am stuck in a B&B where I am embarrassed to take a shit because someone else might smell it let alone to rub one out and have someone hear it.  That being said, have a very Happy May!

I have a new hobby.  It is something that I do when I travel that always amuses me.  To many, it will seem odd and dumb but I laugh everytime I do it. 

When I stay in hotels, I will set the alarm clock at 3 AM on the morning I check out so that the very next morning the alarm will go off, hopefully on an unsuspecting newcomer to the room.   

I laugh every time I do this.  I know, I know.  Very childish right?  But I get great enjoyment thinking about the next person that sleeps in that room and suddenly gets the sudden jolt to their deep sleep as the alarm goes off.

Or better yet, the room remains empty but there are people in the next room that has to hear it go off all night long. 

I don’t know why but it really cracks me up.

Yep, still here. 

So yesterday a few co-workers and I strolled through the city.  We started out walking through the neighborhood of Chelsea.  My co-worker J was curious about all of the blind people walking around with their canes and was inquisitive enough to ask the waitress in the diner we ate in “Are there really a lot of blind people here?”  To which I quickly countered, “This in New York, they are not really blind people, they are just creating the next new wave of style and chic.”

The waitress laughed and walked away leaving J without her answer.  When we left the diner, I had noticed that after we turned the corner, across the street was a Blind Center.  I pointed it out to J who, being very skeptical of anything I tell her (long story but she does have a good reason), asked how did I know that was the blind center.  I pointed out that it was the only building without windows so it had to be for the blind because what do they need windows for?  They can’t see anything.  I then pointed to the small sign that stated it was a blind center.

From Chelsea we walked down through the Village and Soho.  I love walking through the city on a nice day.  Everyone comes out and makes for great people watching. 

In New York, you will find people wearing the most…………………………….um…………………………….. interesting clothing.  They range from the very colorful to the barely there to the very bold.  Everyone was out and about yesterday.  I was thoroughly entertained and enjoyed the leisurely stroll.

I had a Corporate meeting out in Queens last night so a group and I made our way out there.  Since I had a car I was the driver for a lot of my fellow co-workers.  My job was to welcome some of the others and there was not a better way to greet everyone then to head to the bar and start a tab on someone else’s account.  That’s right!  I started a bar tab for 30 people on my boss’s boss tab.  We all were very social by the time dinner rolled around. 

After the meet and greet we headed to the conference room for dinner.  After working all week in NYC and having to work through the weekend, I felt the need to drink.  And drink I did.  I was not the only one that was interested in having a good time. 

After dinner and the meeting there was about a dozen of us that wandered back to the bar and what was on the TV but the Philadelphia Flyers beating the Montreal Canadians.  And how does any proud Philadelphian celebrate the Flyers  winning the series?  Yep!  Celebratory  beers.   A lot of beers. 

Our group dwindled down to about 4 by the time last call was called.  Not realizing that it was so late I tried to excuse myself so I could go to bed.  You see, I had to drive out to the Hamptons by 10 AM this morning.  That only left me to about 5 hours of sleep and 5 hours to sober up before starting work.  Needless to say, I felt like crap all day today and all I want to do is go to bed. 

So now that I have given another Rambling update, I can head to bed.

G’night all. 

I like to people watch.  Anywhere people gather, malls, markets, parks, etc… are excellent place to watch people.  But the best place in all the world to watch people - New York City.

I’ve recently been working in the Big Apple and after work I hit the streets and wander through Manhattan just observing the people.  From Times Square to Central Park to the World Trade area there are plenty of places to just watch people.

People are fascinating to watch.  When in their natural state, people will do rather interesting things. 

I was walking down Madison Ave and decided to count people that just pick their nose.  While no one was full on digging their finger up to the second knuckle picking, there was the quick pickers, the wipers, the two finger two nostril cleaner and the pretend I am doing something else other than picking my nose picker.  In 5 blocks I came across 8 pickers. 

While strolling though Central Park this afternoon I observed couples kissing in the park.  Hetero couples and Homo couples.  Young couples and Old couples.  Public displays of affection was everywhere. 

Then at Times Square you have people everywhere taking pictures or filming theirselves against a backdrop of bright neon lights.  People walking with shopping bags overflowing with purchases from the stores.  If the country is in a recession, it is not occurring in Times Square.   There were people gathered in a circle watching an armless man doing back flips and front flips.  They would clap and cheer.  I was amazed that people found this as entertaining.

Then there are the people in line waiting for the doors to open on the Broadway shows.  People dressed in their finest and people that were dressed in their not so finest.  I overheard one lady proclaim that she was attending her 5th showing of the play.  Her 5th?  Did she not understand the play the first four times? 

People are wonderful.  People are interesting.  People are amusing. 

After an evening of people watching, I feel so much better about myself. 

The scene is a Supermarket, the non foods aisle.  Specifically, Aisle 2 - hairspray, shampoo, hair dyes, hair clips, hair ties hair nets and brushes and combs.  Everything one might need for hair it’s there. 

My wife and I are in that aisle, and as we casually walk the aisle, my wife and I are conversing about nothing.  Literally nothing.  I whimsically make a comment that I can’t believe that Aquanet still exists and I tell her the same old story about when I was in High School, had the long rocker hair that would be teased up like I was member of some 80’s hairband and how my friends and I in the band would douse our hair with Aquanet and rock out.  If only Liquid Life took off and rocked the world.

She is only half paying attention to me as I am pushing the cart and she is walking in front of it scanning the price tags for the sale prices and checking if we have coupons to match.  This is the hell my life has become.

We stop at the end of the aisle, in front of the hair clips, hair ties, fake hanging hair attached to clips, brushes and combs and the following conversation occurs totally out of the blue.

Wife:  You need a new brush!

Me:  I need a new brush?

Wife:  Yes.

Me:  Why?

Wife:  Yours is out dated.

Me:  It’s what?!?!

Wife:  It’s out dated.

Me:  It’s out dated.

Wife:  Yes.  You’ve had it since high school probably.

Me:  Ok.  Let’s assume that you are correct for a moment and that I have had that brush since high school.  How can a brush be out dated?

Wife:  Have you seen your brush?

Me:  Ummm…. yes.  And it looks just like that one (pointing to a similar one on the shelf).  It fully serves its function without fail.  It brushes my hair.  It’s functional and operational.   I did not realize that brushes have expiration dates.  I did not know that they go out of style.  I did not know that my brush was a fashion statement.  I didn’t know that I was no longer hip because I have held onto a brush longer than I have held onto my Members Only jacket.  You should be thankful that I no longer carry my comb in my back pocket.  Carrying combs in the back pocket - that is out dated.  My brush, I’m thinking not so much.

Wife:  Now you’re just being an idiot.

Me:  Me?!?!

Wife:  Never mind.  Keep using that old stupid brush of yours. 

Me:  Ummm….  I was planning on it.

Wife:  Good!

Me:  Good.  Besides, it wasn’t on sale and we didn’t have a coupon for it.

Do you ever feel like you are reading too much?  That everything you start to read you never finish?

That is me.  I think I have too much to read.  And I read everything.

Here is my current list…

1 novel - First Counsel - Brad Meltzer - still working on getting through this book

5 monthly magazines - Time, Newsweek, Wizard, Readers Digest and Big Backyard (for the kids)

2 trade publications (for work)

2 daily newspapers

 23 Monthly Comic Books

Blogs

Forums.

I keep many of my magazines in the bathroom.  Doesn’t everyone?  Anyway there is only so much time one can spend in there reading.  By the time I get done with any of the mags the next one has arrived in the mail. 

It is really getting to become too much for me.  I am having a hard time keeping on top of it all.  When I travel for work and have to fly or take the train, I get close to getting caught up on my reading.  But when I get home I get behind.  Too many activities to get any reading done.

I find that I am a news junkie.  I read the newspaper every morning, then I scour the internet for the latest news.  I read Time and Newsweek for the news too.  They will have articles that you just don’t find in the newspapers. 

I forgot to mention that I read to my kids too.  Usually in the evening, before they go to bed.  My daughter is reading well on her own but she will often join my and the son for story time.  I will read them books or an article out of their Big Backyard magazine.

Is this just another one of my odd compulsions?

or

Is there such a thing as being addicted to reading? 

Hello, my name is Idle Ramblings and I am addicted to reading.

It snowed here, finally, the other night and we went over to Donna’s - my sister-in-law - so that all the kids could go sledding. 

While they were out sledding she started to make some hot chocolate for all the kids and poured them small cups.  When the kids all came in and stripped out of their outerwear they came and took some sips and then ran to the basement to play.

After a few minutes Donna called down to the kids, “You better get up here and drink this hot chocolate I made!  If it gets any cooler it will be cold!”

I’m just thankful that the laws of thermodynamics work in her house too.

I was tagged by Teeni over at the Vaguetarian Tea Room with a meme that calls for 7 random facts about me.  The rules are;

# Link to the person who tagged you
# Post the rules on your blog.
# Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
# Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
# Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.

1.  I hate wearing flip flops or sandals.  It is not because I think I have ugly feet, quite the contrary, I have great looking feet for a guy, I just think flip flops and sandals are just very fem!

2.  I like to garden.  I like to plant and grow flowers, vegetables, houseplants, etc.

3.  I used to be big into the drug scene.  I’ve tried a lot of stuff at least once.  One day I came to the realization that I had to grow up and stop.  There was not a major incident that made me need to stop, I just literally work up and day and decided that recreational drugs should be used for recreation and not on a daily basis.

4.  I enjoy cooking.  Other people enjoy my cooking.  When friends and family hear I am cooking steaks and such I get people stopping by.  I have had people request the recipes for my chicken and steak marinades, my beef stew and chili recipes.  I don’t give them out of course but I do have to say that it is flattering that people love my cooking.

5.  I would rather snack on carrots and celery than chips and pretzels

6.  I have a kayak.  I would rather be out on the water in my kayak than sitting on a beach or swimming on a lake.  There is something peaceful about just chilling out, alone, in the middle of a bay, lake or ocean.

7.  I have really hard times trying to come up with 7 random facts for these Meme’s.  It takes me days to try to come up with stuff when I get tagged.  

So there you have it. 

So I am going to tag

Eric - What Else Can I Say? 

Heddy - Life After Lemons

Kara - Here We Go Again

 I tagged these three because I don’t know anyone else enough to tag them but if you read this and want to do it on your own, go for it.!

We don’t have a song.  Other couples do, but not us.  You usually hear other couples songs at their weddings.  They go out and dance to it and everyone goes “Awwww…..” while I throw up in my mouth.

Last night we were laying in bed and my wife asked me to sing to her our song.  Now she knows damn well we don’t have a song and she is, for some reason, setting me up for an argument when all I want to do is go to sleep.  It is already mid-night and I have to get up early for work but do I get quiet?  No!  I get, “Sing me our song!”

Long story short, the wife and I were friends for the longest time before we became and item.  We were both in long term relationships when we met and became friends and when they fell apart we decided to move in together and then one day we just looked at each other, like two old folks asking each other for sex, and I said “Do you wanna?”

She said, “Do you wanna?”

I said, “Sure, why not”

So we hopped a flight to Vegas and got married.  No big wedding.  No family.  No reception.  Nothing. 

Since we never really dated, we never really had a song.  Besides, I am not a mushy guy that hears a song and thinks wow!  That reminds me of my woman.  *insert eyes rolling here! 

Which leads me back to last night.  Laying in bed, trying to fall asleep when she nails me with her “sing me our song” request.  It was way out of left field and I certainly was not looking for an argument at that moment, but she clearly was. 

What is the big deal of a couple song? Why is it so important for her to all of a sudden, at midnight, to need to have a couple song?  Why is it that stupid stuff like this keeps getting me into trouble? 

Why can I not get into the Super Bowl this year?  In past years, I would be excited and pumped up, looking forward to partying and getting into betting pools, but this year I can not psych myself up for it.  I am going to a party but I have not put any money into any pools.  By this time, I am usually about $200 deep into the pools.  Not this year. 

Is it because one of the teams is the Giants?  Being from Philly, the Giants are a division rival and we hate the Giants.  But I would like to see the Giants beat the Patriots because they are going in as the underdog.  I don’t like the Pats either and I do hope the Giants beat them.   The Pats are going into this as the favorite and this is the last game of what would/could be a “perfect” season.  Of course there are some that will see this season marked with an astrisk (*) due to the filmgate scandle from earlier this year. 

The reality of it all is that I am totally uninterested in it at all.  Around friends and coworkers I am playing it cool and making like I am into everything Super Bowl but the reality is I would rather not bother. 

Where usually I would be plopped in front of the TV, in the best seat I could find, at a party, at a friends, not moving except to use the bathroom (there are others that will gladly bring the beer and food to me like my wife and kids), yelling at the TV and laughing at the commercials, I will probably be found in the kitchen or den, where the food is, and socializing with all the other uninterested Super Bowl watchers and party guests.  This group mostly consists of women and the geeks.  The geeks are usually the husbands that have no idea about the game of football, or any other sport for that matter, and they are just there trying to fit in or because the wife dragged them along.  At the very least I will probably pick up a good cooking tip or recipie from the ladies and learn how to better manage my 401k from one of the geeks. 

On the brightside, I don’t see waking from a hangover and missing a day of work this year.