Idle Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Man

I travel for work across the country.  I have enjoyed the hospitality of many great towns and cities.  I’ve been to Seattle, Chicago, Boston, NYC, Portland Maine, West Palm Beach Fla, Richmond Va and Salt Lake City just to name a few.

I have stayed in many hotels and ate at many restaurants.  While I always try to enjoy the local cuisine and if I can stay in the unique hotels, there are times where I do visit or have to visit the national chains.

What I have found, in my opinion, is that of all the hotels out there, consistently, Hilton and Holiday Inn’s tend to be the best.  I have had the best sleep, accommodations, food and experiences in these two chains.  I’ve stayed in Marriotts, Raddisons and others, and I have stayed in some very good ones, but they are not consistent across the country. 

As far as restaurants, of the national chains, Applebees and Chili’s have been the best.  Again, they have been consistent and their selections are broad.  I find that their food is tasty and flavorful.

Some of the other national chains lately have been messing with their menus, like TGIFriday’s and Ruby Tuesday’s.  They have cut down on their choices and reduced their menu.  I have been very disappointed with them lately.  I can understand why they have cut back on their menu, what with the food prices increasing and all.

That being said, I recently went to breakfast at a diner just outside of Brooklyn NY and ordered a Spanish Omelet.  What I like about a Spanish Omelet is that it is made, at least in all the other breakfast establishments I have dined in, with a  mix of cheese, peppers, onions and salsa and then I love to pour Tabasco Sauce all over the top of the omelet.  So good.

So back to this diner outside of Brooklyn.  I placed my order of a Spanish Omelete and opened my newspaper and read for a short while, waiting patiently for my breakfast to arrive.   

After a short while, my waitress returns with my plate and lays it before me.  I look at my plate and notice that there is an egg.  On top of that egg is grilled peppers, grilled onions and ……………………. wait for it………………  grilled celery.

My waitress turns to leave and I stop her.

Me:  Um…… excuse me.  I ordered a Spanish Omelet.

Her:  That’s it hon.

Me:  It is?

Her:  Yeah.

Me: (looking at it for a moment before turning to the waitress and saying)  From what part of Spain?

I am finally home from my tour of NYC and Long Island.  It had been an interesting week for me with work.  I had been stationed out in the Hampton’s.  During the day I was working hard and in the evening I was able to explore and enjoy all that the Hampton’s has to offer.  Unfortunately, this time of year, that is not much.  It seems that everything all closes at 7PM.  That is what happens when you go to a resort during the off season.

What I have seen does not really impress me.  It has not been a Weekend At Bernie’s.  Traffic is all jammed up and only moves at a maximum of 30 MPH.  I assume that is only in the middle of the night because during the day there are cars all over the road by none of them are moving faster.

What really surprises me is that for all the money this area is supposed to have, there is no cell phone signal that my cell phone can connect to.  Verizon needs to come to the Hampton’s because no one “can hear me now”!

Where I have been staying is a little Bed and Breakfast and I will be the first to admit that while they are quaint, I feel very uncomfortable.  There is something about staying in someone’s house that just does not allow me to relax and unwind.  I never make my bed at home and yet I find myself obligated to make it at the B&B.  Where normally I might watch HBO late on a Thursday night, I am embarrassed to even put the TV on at all.

Then there is the community shower in the B&B.  I find it odd having to share the shower with other guests.  In my hotel, I like to strip and walk to the shower in my room.  In that bathroom I can lay out my toothpaste, hairbrush, shaving needs, etc…  But in the B&B I am carrying all of my items to the bathroom along with my towels and clothes to change into. 

Maybe it is just me and my oddities. 

I do know that after being away for the past three weeks I was ready to get home.  I had not seen the kids and I had not seen the wife.  I am missing cheese steaks and Philly sports.  Flyers are in the playoffs, The Phillies are leading the East and the Soul is playing their best season and yet with all that good fortune going on, I am missing it all. 

Finally, May is National Masturbation Month and I am stuck in a B&B where I am embarrassed to take a shit because someone else might smell it let alone to rub one out and have someone hear it.  That being said, have a very Happy May!

Yep, still here. 

So yesterday a few co-workers and I strolled through the city.  We started out walking through the neighborhood of Chelsea.  My co-worker J was curious about all of the blind people walking around with their canes and was inquisitive enough to ask the waitress in the diner we ate in “Are there really a lot of blind people here?”  To which I quickly countered, “This in New York, they are not really blind people, they are just creating the next new wave of style and chic.”

The waitress laughed and walked away leaving J without her answer.  When we left the diner, I had noticed that after we turned the corner, across the street was a Blind Center.  I pointed it out to J who, being very skeptical of anything I tell her (long story but she does have a good reason), asked how did I know that was the blind center.  I pointed out that it was the only building without windows so it had to be for the blind because what do they need windows for?  They can’t see anything.  I then pointed to the small sign that stated it was a blind center.

From Chelsea we walked down through the Village and Soho.  I love walking through the city on a nice day.  Everyone comes out and makes for great people watching. 

In New York, you will find people wearing the most…………………………….um…………………………….. interesting clothing.  They range from the very colorful to the barely there to the very bold.  Everyone was out and about yesterday.  I was thoroughly entertained and enjoyed the leisurely stroll.

I had a Corporate meeting out in Queens last night so a group and I made our way out there.  Since I had a car I was the driver for a lot of my fellow co-workers.  My job was to welcome some of the others and there was not a better way to greet everyone then to head to the bar and start a tab on someone else’s account.  That’s right!  I started a bar tab for 30 people on my boss’s boss tab.  We all were very social by the time dinner rolled around. 

After the meet and greet we headed to the conference room for dinner.  After working all week in NYC and having to work through the weekend, I felt the need to drink.  And drink I did.  I was not the only one that was interested in having a good time. 

After dinner and the meeting there was about a dozen of us that wandered back to the bar and what was on the TV but the Philadelphia Flyers beating the Montreal Canadians.  And how does any proud Philadelphian celebrate the Flyers  winning the series?  Yep!  Celebratory  beers.   A lot of beers. 

Our group dwindled down to about 4 by the time last call was called.  Not realizing that it was so late I tried to excuse myself so I could go to bed.  You see, I had to drive out to the Hamptons by 10 AM this morning.  That only left me to about 5 hours of sleep and 5 hours to sober up before starting work.  Needless to say, I felt like crap all day today and all I want to do is go to bed. 

So now that I have given another Rambling update, I can head to bed.

G’night all. 

I like to people watch.  Anywhere people gather, malls, markets, parks, etc… are excellent place to watch people.  But the best place in all the world to watch people - New York City.

I’ve recently been working in the Big Apple and after work I hit the streets and wander through Manhattan just observing the people.  From Times Square to Central Park to the World Trade area there are plenty of places to just watch people.

People are fascinating to watch.  When in their natural state, people will do rather interesting things. 

I was walking down Madison Ave and decided to count people that just pick their nose.  While no one was full on digging their finger up to the second knuckle picking, there was the quick pickers, the wipers, the two finger two nostril cleaner and the pretend I am doing something else other than picking my nose picker.  In 5 blocks I came across 8 pickers. 

While strolling though Central Park this afternoon I observed couples kissing in the park.  Hetero couples and Homo couples.  Young couples and Old couples.  Public displays of affection was everywhere. 

Then at Times Square you have people everywhere taking pictures or filming theirselves against a backdrop of bright neon lights.  People walking with shopping bags overflowing with purchases from the stores.  If the country is in a recession, it is not occurring in Times Square.   There were people gathered in a circle watching an armless man doing back flips and front flips.  They would clap and cheer.  I was amazed that people found this as entertaining.

Then there are the people in line waiting for the doors to open on the Broadway shows.  People dressed in their finest and people that were dressed in their not so finest.  I overheard one lady proclaim that she was attending her 5th showing of the play.  Her 5th?  Did she not understand the play the first four times? 

People are wonderful.  People are interesting.  People are amusing. 

After an evening of people watching, I feel so much better about myself. 

The scene is a Supermarket, the non foods aisle.  Specifically, Aisle 2 - hairspray, shampoo, hair dyes, hair clips, hair ties hair nets and brushes and combs.  Everything one might need for hair it’s there. 

My wife and I are in that aisle, and as we casually walk the aisle, my wife and I are conversing about nothing.  Literally nothing.  I whimsically make a comment that I can’t believe that Aquanet still exists and I tell her the same old story about when I was in High School, had the long rocker hair that would be teased up like I was member of some 80’s hairband and how my friends and I in the band would douse our hair with Aquanet and rock out.  If only Liquid Life took off and rocked the world.

She is only half paying attention to me as I am pushing the cart and she is walking in front of it scanning the price tags for the sale prices and checking if we have coupons to match.  This is the hell my life has become.

We stop at the end of the aisle, in front of the hair clips, hair ties, fake hanging hair attached to clips, brushes and combs and the following conversation occurs totally out of the blue.

Wife:  You need a new brush!

Me:  I need a new brush?

Wife:  Yes.

Me:  Why?

Wife:  Yours is out dated.

Me:  It’s what?!?!

Wife:  It’s out dated.

Me:  It’s out dated.

Wife:  Yes.  You’ve had it since high school probably.

Me:  Ok.  Let’s assume that you are correct for a moment and that I have had that brush since high school.  How can a brush be out dated?

Wife:  Have you seen your brush?

Me:  Ummm…. yes.  And it looks just like that one (pointing to a similar one on the shelf).  It fully serves its function without fail.  It brushes my hair.  It’s functional and operational.   I did not realize that brushes have expiration dates.  I did not know that they go out of style.  I did not know that my brush was a fashion statement.  I didn’t know that I was no longer hip because I have held onto a brush longer than I have held onto my Members Only jacket.  You should be thankful that I no longer carry my comb in my back pocket.  Carrying combs in the back pocket - that is out dated.  My brush, I’m thinking not so much.

Wife:  Now you’re just being an idiot.

Me:  Me?!?!

Wife:  Never mind.  Keep using that old stupid brush of yours. 

Me:  Ummm….  I was planning on it.

Wife:  Good!

Me:  Good.  Besides, it wasn’t on sale and we didn’t have a coupon for it.

It was a beautiful and sunny day outside today.  I was cutting the grass for the first time and all the neighbors were out working in their yards. 

While taking a break, one of my neighbors called over to me and within a few moments my neighbor and I were into a discussion about another neighbors new SUV.  See, the guy I was talking to is a big “green” guy.  He is into driving a Prius, uses Compact Fluorescent Lights throughout his house, composts, recycles, etc… 

In the middle of our conversation and his bashing of this other neighbor buying a big gas wasting, heavily polluting SUV he pulls out a cigerette and lights up.  I found the moment very funny and ironic and I made the faux pas of speaking before thinking and said that new SUV buyer was just as bad for the environment as a smoker.  It was kinda like the pot calling the kettle black.

With that, I got the look, and he and his lit cigarette walked away.  

Teeni over at the Vaguetarian Tea Room suggested the following post for a Best Of.  I had totally forgotten about this one and I am glad Teeni reminded me that this one existed. 

On this day, I was able to observe American ingenuity at its finest. 

When I die, I want to be recycled.  In this age of green living, I want to do everything and anything I can to help save the planet.  Starting with my body.

I want my organs harvested and used.  I want to donate my organs to help others.  Any organ that cannot be transplanted to another body I want to donate to schools and universities to study and use in classroom learning.

I want my blood and fluids to be used and recycled too.  I don’t know if you can recycle blood, bile or urine but it is something that should be looked into.  Who knows what uses we could find for it.  Who knows, bile may be the next fuel source for cars.  Or milking my mucus for lubricants. 

I want my bones to be used for glue, or turned into fertilizer, or buttons for clothes or even used for a dogs chew toy. 

And my flesh, I would like my flesh to be cut from my bones and used to feed the homeless or used for dog food or something like that. 

I don’t think any part of me should be wasted.  I’ll be dead, so what do I care happens to my body.  But if we are going to recycle, let’s get serious!

People handle grief in many different ways and people like to remember the dead in their own meaningful ways but what I don’t understand is people that will plaster across the rear windshield of their car a memorial with all the information of that individual which should be placed on the headstone, not rear window of a car. 

Driving into work this morning is a Dodge Magnum with a rear window full of what amounts to an obituary.  It was large writing, contained a picture/image of the deceased, birth and death dates and noting that the deseased was a loving cousin, sister, brother, mother, aunt, uncle, neighbor, homeroom mother, scout leader, gang member, father and animal lover.  

It was almost like it was being shoved down my throat that this person had died and I had better recognize!

I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but when something like this is shoved in my face, and no, I really could not avoid it as this vehicle was in front of me in bumper to bumper traffic, but when this is shoved in my face I guess I have to just vent about it. 

If you want people to read about  and remember the dead, place an obit in the newspaper like everyone else.

I have moved on to the next thing to grow in my Aerogarden.  I pulled out the lettuce and cleaned out the machine/growing center/doohickey/thingamabob.  I had read, online, many other reviews that mentioned how difficult and/or time consuming it was to clean out all the roots in the basin but I was pleasantly pleased to find that I had no such issues. 

I was prepared for the task to be arduous and time consuming and found that in seconds, my Aeorgarden was cleaned out of the old and ready for the new.  All told, the turn around time was about 5 minutes. 

I stopped growing the lettuce.  Not because its life cycle was over, no, my lettuce was still very healthy and very much bountiful.  My family and I had many great salads with that lettuce since Christmas.  But I was bored with the lettuce and eager to move on and try something else. 

I began the Herbs.  They have begun to grow quite well.  There is, though, a slight problem with the Aerogarden and the growing of the herbs.  It is not a problem that complaining to Aerogarden is going to do any good.  Aerogarden will not be able to help.  The problem is cats.  Specifically, my cats.  Suddenly, my two cats have a strong appetite for fresh herbs. 

One day, I was watching TV when the one cat hopped up on my lap and began licking my face and I caught a strong scent of onion from her.  It was very unusual and peculiar.  I did not put two and two together until I saw her nibbling on my herbs in my Aerogarden. 

I now have to keep one eye on the Aerogarden to watch for pesky cats until the makers of the Aerogarden come out with a cat proof version. 

In looking in the instructions that Aerogarden sends with the herbs, there were a few interesting recipes that I am going to have to try in a few weeks.  They were very simple recipes and could be prepared quickly and something that a family on the go (like mine)  would enjoy.

I’ll  keep you readers posted as I continue to explore the Aerogarden.