I Have No Office Cred!
Filed under: Ramblings, annoy, annoying, blog, blogging, blogs, curse, hiccups, human, individual, medical, pain, random, rant, sick, trouble, work | Tags: afflictions, body sounds, fart, hiccups, office cred, suffer, tricks |
I was going to write about something else this morning but I suddenly got the hiccups.
And why do you suddenly get hiccups? Have you noticed that you never gradually work your way into hiccups? It’s like one moment you are fine and the next you are violently spasming in your chair hiccuping. You gradually get a cold, you gradually get the flu but BAM! you suddenly get the hiccups!
It is rare that I get the hiccups. I can’t remember when the last time was I got them. But I know that I can’t get rid of them. I’ve tried holding my breath, drinking upside down (this brought back some college memories) blowing out all the air in my lungs and drinking water, etc….
I even had one fool here at work tell me that I should swallow a bunch of sugar. Now here at work all we have as far as sugar is the little sugar packets. Do you know how many of those #(@)ing little packets I would have to be ripping open to make a significant amount of sugar to swallow.
Not only that but the mess it would be leaving behind. Like the little fine white powdery residue left across my desk. People would come walking by and my desk would look like Cocaine central. Suddenly, I would be getting new text messages “Got some?” “Need Some?”
And I’ll start having the weird folks hanging around me more wanting to know if I got a score. “No I don’t. But I do know the Phillies did lose again to the Dodgers in the 9th. I didn’t catch the final score. Sorry”
“Yeah man, I gotcha” *wink *wink
Than I spend the rest of the day wondering why old weird Harold keep looking at me funny. No thanks. Don’t need that.
So here I suffer, every 4 seconds, making a stupid, childish little sound at work. Hiccups are not a very manly sound either. I am not getting any office cred sitting here hiccuping. I could let out a loud stinky fart in the workplace and have more office cred. Hiccups in the office – well below hiccups on the office cred list.
So here I sit. Suffering from Hiccups. But the best part is that I don’t have to suffer alone. Hiccups affect those that sit around me too. So if I suffer, they all suffer. At least something good came out of this.
LOL. Good post! I have noticed I seem to get hiccups when I have an empty stomache and then eat something unusual. Like a hot pepper – then I immediately get the hiccups.
I sometimes get hiccups with my first sip of a Sprite. My had me get a cut of water and cover it with a paper towel, and then drink water through the paper towel. It got rid of my hiccups, go figger.