It’s About Nothing Really

Over on my forum I have a thread for members to post their blogs and allow them the chance to maybe gain new readers or maybe interest them to start their own, which is kinda how I got started. 

Interestingly, one member on my forum asked me about my Big Mac/Whopper post and if I had yet tried them and I thought I would answer all of you at the same time that I have not yet tried them but my plan is to try this upcoming week.    I’ll be on vacation starting Friday at 4PM Eastern Time and during my vacation I thought I would take the time to try them.  I’ll keep you all posted on how that goes.

Kitchen work is progressing nicely.  I should have electric by the time I return from vacation.  My friend, who is an electrician, not to be confused with morethananelectrician, is coming by to run the new wires and all.  My wife will be happy when it is all done because I think that she is a little bothered by the fact that we are washing dishes in the same sink we brush our teeth in.  When I get back from vacation I will drywall and hand the cabinets and install the new sink. 

I am looking forward to this vacation.  With all the hard work around the house I am going to need a few days on the beach, catching some sun, looking at the young hotties strutting their stuff up and down the sand.  This is usually the time my wife is punching my arm for looking. 

I will be enjoying Sunday, on vacation, watching the Philadelphia Soul play for the Arena Bowl Championship.  I will be back at the shore house cheering on my team while the wife and kids are out doing something else.  What a great start to vacation.

I will catch up with you all later!

I’ve Busted The Conspiracy

I know why I was forced to buy a hew hairbrush.

It has become the community brush.  My wife uses it, my daughter uses it and the boy is using it.

My old one was small and could fit in the medicine cabinet over the sink and the new one that I was forced to buy was large and not suitable to store anywhere but on the side of the sink or on the tank of the toilet.

I knew it was a conspiracy!  I knew that there was something more than just my wife wanting me to “update” my hairbrush.  They don’t go out of style.  It’s a hairbrush!!!!!

There are a few things that skive me.  Things that no matter what – I am just not going to share with anyone!  They include my toothbrush, underwear, bathing suit, and my hair brush! 

So you know what?  I kept my old brush.  That’s right!  I saved it!  Hid it so that others could not find it and when I discovered this nefarious little plot the family had going I pulled it back out.  I pulled it out and used it.  Yeah, so you all can go on with your bad selfs and keep using that new brush and I’ll have mine safely tuckered away. 

Momma didn’t raise no fool!

I Can Actually Do Stuff!

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda!  These are all things we say in regret for something we didn’t do but should have.

For me it is picture taking. 

Lately, I have been working hard in my free time to improve my home but replacing windows and painting rooms and now my latest project is the Kitchen.

I spent the weekend emptying cabinets and ripping them down. 

There is something satisfying to taking a hammer and bashing the *&^$ out of it so that it will fit into the trash can.  Not only is it nice to get rid of something that is a remnant of the old owners but it is also nice to think about all the things that piss me off and then swing the hammer!

• That peckerhead that cut me off on the 95 – BAM!
• The friend that came to my home - BAM!
•  My daughter won’t clean her room – BAM!
•  The Eagles, Phillies, Sixers and Flyers have not won a Championship in decades – BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

It works out great!  I feel so much better today! 

Anyway, getting back to the main point to this post, I wish I had remembered to take before and after pictures of all the work I have been doing because I am proud of the things I have done and I like to show you all that I am not a useless sack of $#!^.  Of course, I have no evidence that I have done anything and you will just have to take my word for it. 

And lastly, it seems that I am the sole person responsible for Global Warming.  Yes, me.  For whatever reason, when I do my home improvement projects, we have record heat waves.  When I was doing the windows and painting last month it was near 100 degrees.  This weekend it was mid 90’s.  Al Gore is going to be coming for me!

Not Until You Get A Little Older

It was not all that long ago since we brought home our new kitten Penny.  She is all grown up now and full of personality and energy and is great and all that but I think that my wife and my kids are starting to get the itch to get another new kitten.

We have been spending a lot of time lately at pet stores.  In those pet stores we have been spending a lot of time looking at the kittens in the cages.

Now, I am a cat lover.  I’ve had cats all my life.  Growing up we have had as many as 4 in my house, well my parents house, and it was great.  But that was mostly because I didn’t clean the litter or feed them.  That was my sister’s chore. 

But for now I am the feeder and the litter cleaner.  At least until the kids get a little older.  And for now I am happy with the two that we have.  I am not looking for more but the family might have other plans.  

I am going to have to lay down the law and make it known that there are not going to be any new cats coming into the home in the near future.  Unfortunately, I’ll probably end up being out voted and overruled on the issue and we’ll have another cat.

Batman – The Dark Knight

First, let me apologize for being so late in my review of this movie.  I had to get some sleep before I came to work this morning.  I am not like a lot of the rabid fanboys that rushed home to their computers to blog about this movie.

That being said, now that I have had some sleep and I had the time to digest the latest in the Batman movie Mythos, it was #%^&ing awesome! 

I arrived at the movie theater for the midnight showing at 10PM last night.  At that time, there were already about 20 people in front of me and some of those arrived in costumes of the Joker, Harley Quinn, Scarecrow and Catwoman.  (Note:  Very chunky women – do not try to pull off a Catwoman outfit!  It will never work!) 

During the two hour wait the crowd remained calm but there was lots of talk about the movie, how great it was going to be, what spoilers my lie in the movie, etc…  I, for the most part, filtered it out.  I already had my knowledge of the movie firmly in place and did not want others that read this or that on the Internet to spoil it for me. 

What was killing me during my wait was my wife.  She was to meet me in the line after the babysitter arrived.  The babysitter was to be there at 11AM and we are only 10 minutes from the theater.  She did not arrive until 11:45.  I had to wait in line for 2 hours!  I had to save a seat for her for 2 hours!  I had to piss for 1 hour!  Oh Boy was I mad at her!  I should have just embarrassed her and whipped it out in the seats and into a cup.  I’ve been known to do things like that to her before!

So on to the movie!  I am not going to give any spoilers or detail the movie but let me just tell you this, if you are on the fence about seeing this movie then you have to go!  DO NOT WAIT FOR THE DVD!!!!!  Go now!  The two villains are the Joker and Two Face!  The villains steal the show!  It was superb writing that made this movie.  The explanation of the Joker and Two Face and how they have come into being, the growth of the characters throughout the movie and their development was brilliant. 

This was a very well written story.  The subtle one liners of the Joker are going to become movie quotes that people will repeat for years.  Heath Ledger took the character of the Joker to places that none of the other Jokers has in the past.  Even before his death, I read on the Internet and saw leaked clips that blew me away because of his performance.  Even if Ledger was alive, this movie would still blow people away with his performance. 

The movie is 2 hours and 37 minutes and the whole time the movie is nonstop.  The movie flows quickly and naturally and you don’t even have the chance to notice that it is a long movie and when it ends you are disappointed that it doesn’t go for another 2 more hours. 

My wife, who is not a big comic book geek or super hero fan really enjoyed this movie. 

One last thing that, in my opinion, makes this movie so good is the fact that everything in the movie makes you think that this is something that could happen in real life.  The cars, the guns, the bat-toys, the criminal element, the technology, etc…  It could all be real in today’s world. 

For those that have not yet seen it – Go!!!  It is well worth the money!  It is worth only gettin 3 hours of sleep!

I’ve Never Had A Big Mac

I was watching TV the other day and saw a commercial for McDonalds Big Mac and it got me to thinking that I have never had a Big Mac.  I have never had a Burger King Whopper either.

These are the signature sandwiches.  The main burgers.  The big meat!

They have never appealed to me. 

I don’t eat much fast food and when I do it is Panara Bread or Wendy’s. 

Now, suddenly, I have a curoisity to at least try one just to see what the big deal is. 

When I am forced to eat at one of these places I usually just get a double cheeseburger but now I am going to need to try a Big Mac and  Whopper.  Maybe I’ll try them together to not only try them out but to see which one is better. 

Am I odd to have never tried a Big Mac or a Whopper?

What is in a Handshake?

My friends and I were having a discussion about shaking hands.  There are many different types of hand shakes and none of us knew the protocol on any of them.

You have the limp hand handshake

You have the hard firm handshake

You have the bone crushing handshake

You have the bouncing handshake

Who leads the hand shake?  Who decides if it will be a limp or firm shake or a bouncing shake?

Generally, I used to think that you shake softer for a lady and firmer for a guy but I have had women grip my hand and shake it so hard that I can only imagine how hard she grips her man’s unit! 

What about the sweaty handshakes?  I’ve had handshakes so wet that I could have slicked my hair back when we were done.

What kind of handshaker are you?

Guess Who I Saw Today

I have been in a really weird mood lately.  I don’t know why.  I just feel goofy, I feel like doing goofy things, and just being all around goofy.

Yesterday, after work, I stopped by my sister’s house (the same one I spoke about in the last post and called to wish a happy belated birthday) and needed to take her to pick her car up at the shop.  While we were driving I pointed to a guy standing on the side of the road like he was waiting for a bus and I said to her, “See that guy over there?”

Her:  Yeah!?

Me: So do I.

The car gets really quiet and after a moment she asks:  What was that about?

Me:  (laughs)

So then we pull up to the repair shop and before she gets out I say to her, “Guess who I saw today!”

Her:  I don’t know, who?

Me:  Lots of people! (laughs my ass off)

Her:  You’re a dork! (slams the car door as she gets out)

I laughed all the way home. 

I know.  It’s stupid, it’s childish and idiotic but what can I tell you, I am just in one of those moods.  It is certainly no way for a 30ish guy to act.  But that was 3 times yesterday that I got my sister with something stupid.

Happy Belated Birthday!

One of the stupid, mindless, random acts of foolishnessthat will from time to time pop into my head just occured.  I called my sister and wished her a belated Happy Birthday.

Her birthday was a month ago and I did call her on her birthday but I thought it would be funny to hear her reaction when I called at 8 AM while she was half asleep and wish her a belated happy birthday.

ME: Good Morning!

Her:  Good Morning!

ME:  How is your day going?

Her:  Good.  What do you need?

ME:  Nothing.  I just wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday.

Her: What?

ME:  I just wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday.

Her:  What?  You told me happy birthday already.

ME:  Yeah, but that was last month.  I wanted to give you a belated happy birthday.

Her:  You’re an idiot!  (hangs up the phone)

I had to laugh at how funny that was.  So now I am inspired to go out and wish a few others a belated happy birthday.  I think I’ll call my mom, my mother-in-law, definitely have to call my sister-in-law Donna, she really won’t know what to say.  So many calls, so little time.

Donnaism Returns

I know it has been a while since I have given you, my 6 regular readers, any Donnaisms.  Unfortunately, it has been a while since I’ve really hung out with her.

This weekend I did have that chance to spend some time with her. 

She was telling us how it was time to renew her vehicle registration for the state and how she was confused on how to fill out the paperwork.

I asked what was so confusing and she responded that she did not know what to write for the odometer numbers.  I said that she writes what it says on the odometer and I even explained where it was located on her dashboard. 

“I know that”, she responded, “I just don’t know what number to write down because it keeps changing.”

Folks, I can’t make this stuff up.