Idle Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Man

I won’t say that I did it under protest but I was not really 100% into getting the procedure done.  I was very apprehensive but I did it because my wife wanted me to get it done. 

I got my teeth whitened.  I went through the same vain procedure that the rich and famous go through.  I have to say that the results were great.  My teeth are whiter but it was not a quick and easy procedure.

I arrived at my dentist’s office and spent the next 2 hours in a chair that was not made for any person to spend 2 hours in.  I would rather sit in economy class on an airplane for 6 hours. 

I am not sure of all the exact dentist terminology or anything but basically they take some before pictures and then force this mouth opener thing into your mouth.  It looks like those torture BDSM devices that I have only see pictures of on the internet.  It was very uncomfortable, especially for 2 hours.  I felt like I could have swallowed an entire roll of Bounty Extra Quilted paper towels. 

The dentist then puts a lot of numbing lotion on your teeth and gums and then some cotton wads and then pulls out this laser gun looking thing and starts to zap your teeth.  This gun puts out some heat.  How do I know?  Where the dentist missed with the numbing lotion on the gums, I got burned.  And, with that thing shoved in my mouth to keep it open, it did not allow me much of a chance to talk, yell or complain.  Kinda makes me want to get one of those things for the wife and the kids.  The mouth thing, not the laser gun.

So for 2 hours I lay there getting cooked and my mouth getting stretched.  After it was all done I was instructed that I am not to drink anything of color.  As some of you know, I am a tea junkie.  Not being able to drink tea, hot or iced, is torturous for me.  I was never a big soda drinker and Kool-Aid is for kids.  Basically, I am reduced to water for 2 days. 

After the numbing agent wore off, slight pain started to set in and suddenly my teeth were sensitive to everything, hot, cold, liquids, air, my tongue, etc…  And since my teeth hurt, I had a headache too.  I came home from work and went right to bed, at 5PM. 

My wife is happy.  She thinks that it looks sharp. 

The things we do for love.