New Undies For Me!

It was decided, by my wife, that I needed new underwear for her grandmothers funeral and as such she went out to purchase me some.  It seems that she did not want me to wear my threadbare tighty whites to the funeral because of the off chance that during the carrying of the casket my drawers may drop to my ankles and thus exposing my off white, threadbare, almost see through undies and embarrassing her. 

She brought me home Hanes boxer briefs and told me that I would be hawt (is this how it is spelled in todays lingo?) in them.  I really find that hard to imagine.  The only thing remotely hawt in that room at that moment was the pot of chili I was making.  The guy on the package may look hawt and I think that is what she was referring to but there is nothing hawt about me.  I’m short, scrawny and hung like a chipmunk, everything the model on the package is not.  I have not been hawt to anyone in a really long time, if at all.

As I take the package in my hands and begin to open them I discover that the package has, and advertises proudly on the package, “in resealable pouch”.  A resealable pouch?  Why?  It is not perishable goods.  It does not need to be in a Ziploc bag.  In fact, it scares me that  my new boxer briefs come in a package where a person could have easily opened the package, rubbed the undies along his johnson and/or other undesirable places, and then replace them quickly and easily back in the resealable package. 

At this point I really have no choice but to wear them.  If I don’t, the wife will be pissed, and on top of all that, she threw out my well worn, barely there, threadbare tighty whites.

7 Comments so far

  1. ericmg on February 12, 2008

    Well, ummm, I’m glad to here you got new undies.

  2. teeni on February 12, 2008

    OMG - you are absolutely 100% right! Why on earth would anyone see a need to create a resealable package of undies? The implications are very scary. Great post though and I’m stumbling it.

  3. lifelemons on February 12, 2008

    Congrat on the new undies! :lol:

  4. kara on February 14, 2008

    The idea of a resealable pouch is very disturbing!

  5. Red on February 16, 2008

    So umm .. when do we get pictures?
    If I threw out the Mister’s tighty whities, I’d no longer be typing .. for he would have cut off me fingers.

  6. Leah on February 24, 2008

    Boxer briefs are hot looking on guys… yeah what Red said send some pix. :wink:

    Last thing any of you want to see is some old fat guy with his gut hanging out over the waistband of his boxer briefs

  7. Leah on February 27, 2008

    Come on now you know that’s not true. ;-)

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